Wedding planner seats guests alphabetically by first name, separating them from their dates: 'One table was pretty much just women named Sue/Susan/Suzanne who didn’t know each other at all'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 20, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Going to a wedding is a big social event. Sure, you're there to celebrate the happy couple, but you're also there to hang out with all the other guests. Actually, that's mainly what you'll be doing since the couple is probably going to be busy. You have to spend the whole (usually all-day) affair with a bunch of people you may or may not know. Maybe there's a group of your friends who are all going together, and you can all sit together. Or maybe you're just a plus one and don't know anybody else there. You hope that when you see the seating arrangements, you'll be at a table with people you know. 

That's the general expectation. In deciding where guests are going to sit, the couple and the wedding planner usually try to make everybody happy. You seat family with family, friends with friends, and enemies across the room from each other. But at this wedding, they did things a little bit differently. And like all weddings that do things a little bit differently, people had a lot to say about it.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10577727488
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Some were left feeling like they'd rather hug the walls than join in on the dance floor. And that's not the sign of a good wedding. You want people to be comfortable. Scroll on and read what happened in the story and see what you think about it.

  • I recently went to a wedding reception where the seating arrangements were alphabetical by first name.

    All the Annes and Bobs at one table….. All the Joes and Katies at another. Regardless of whether or not any of them knew each other, or got along if they did.
    via u/HaleyTelcontar
  • If you came as a plus one and didn't know anybody besides your date? Too bad! No exceptions! Strictly alphabetical! (...except for my one friend Catelynn, who was seated at the K table, for some reason. No, we still don't know why.)
    via u/HaleyTelcontar
  • There was one table that was pretty much just women named Sue/Susan/Suzanne who didn't know each other at all. There was one table where a guy I know, his current girlfriend, and his ex all got seated together. Basically everybody ended up standing around the edges of the room all night.
    via u/HaleyTelcontar
  • EDIT because I've answered this ten thousand times already: Catelynn's name was spelled correctly on the seating chart and on her place card. That's why it's funny that she was seated at the K table. No, it wasn't a hastily corrected spelling error- the seating chart was hand-inked calligraphy without any awkward cross-outs. They wrote Catelynn, on purpose, in the middle of a bunch of K names. That's why it was worth commenting on! Thank you for coming to my Ted talk :)
    via u/HaleyTelcontar

  • Commenters agreed that there was a lot going on here.

    Ornery-Kick-4702 • 20h ago This person LOVES an ice breaker at a professional meeting.
    via u/Ornery-Kick-4702
  • ohdearitsrichardiii • 20h ago Sounds like they couldn't agree on the seating arrangements and said "to hell with it, they can sit in alpabetical order for all that I care"
    via u/ohdearitsrichardiii
  • thezflikesnachos · 20h ago I have a funny feeling that someone's Excel spreadsheet was exported improperly.
    via u/thezflikesnachos
  • squamouser • 20h ago We talked about doing something similar as a joke - one table just of people called Andrew, one of people we know mainly as someone else's brother, one of people only one of us has ever met, one of people one or more of us has seen naked - and then having them work out how they are connected.
    via u/squamouser
  • justhere2readthe... This is an event where 20h ago everyone just ignores the seating assignments and sits wherever they want. More seating chart refusal is needed.
    via u/justhere2readthecoms
  • A group of guests at a wedding.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • • RobynNeonGal 20h ago I was once seated at a reception table where I didn't know the other guests at the table. But they knew each other. They totally iced me out of the entire conversation and ignored me the entire time. I just sat there really lonely, disappointed, and bored, not knowing what to
    via u/RobynNeonGal
  • do in that situation. And, I was shocked that they thought acting that way was acceptable. Does nobody have manners anymore? So, this way would ensure that the cliqueness and isolation that happens at these events wouldn't happen. But it's still totally messed up to separate couples, so don't do it.
    via u/RobynNeonGal
  • alvinshobbes0 • 20h ago remember middle school when you got seated in alphabetical order ... that vibe
    via u/alvinshobbes0
  • MiserableMulberr... 20h ago Why on earth would anyone do this. Laziness and lack of emotional intelligence is my guess
    via u/MiserableMulberry496
  • • Hedgiest_hog 20h ago I can see how this started as an idea to get guests to meet new people and prevent the cliquing that often occurs at a wedding. Having been to weddings where I was there as a friend from a tiny part of one spouse's life and was spoken to by no one but the one other person I knew, this could sound like a way to break the ice.
    via u/Hedgiest_hog
  • . Robyn NeonGal • 20h ago So what you're saying is, people got seated away from who they came with, as it was seating strictly by name?? That is ridiculous. If I were a guest and came with a partner, we'd have left.
    via u/RobynNeonGal
  • grumpymuppett • 19h ago This sounds like someone got an idea one day, went with it, and never gave it a second thought.
    via u/grumpymuppett
  • Jamboree Junket 19h ago . This is when I would not abide by the seating chart. If they can't show basic care as a host to make sure people are comfortable, my responsibility to abide by social customs as a guest is over.
    via u/JamboreeJunket
  • guacislife12 • 20h ago This is giving season 1 survivor where that guy decided to vote in alphabetical order rather than by any strategy whatsoever.
    via u/guacislife12
  • gringohoneymoon • 16h ago Nonsense. On no fucking planet would I not be sitting with my plus one. Bring the chaos.
    via u/gringohoneymoon
  • SnooPets8873 20h ago • Except for the person sitting next to the boss who was letting her go. I have to admit, I found this kind of funny. Like someone's misguided attempt to encourage people to meet others while also taking away the pain of having to figure out a proper seating chart and then the guests are all walking in with pure WTF faces.
    via u/SnooPets8873
  • bookwormaesthetic 20h ago . Misguided ice breaker or weaponized incompetence? Why not at least alphabetize by last name?
    via u/bookwormaesthetic
  • hawken54321 • 19h ago Used to go to group dinners where people sat with friends. A woman coordinator had another group join ours for dinner and she ASSIGNED seats so everyone would meet new people. We didn't get to sit with friends we brought in our car. I said screw this to myself so wife and I sat away from the strangers. Coordinator acted like I pissed on the salad.
    via u/hawken54321

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